Monday, January 23, 2006
This is worth my life, that is, the Gospel
It's becoming so clear for me. I know my purpose in life. I must go back to Brazil. It has been fuzzy for some time now. However, God has just been pounding it into my head and heart....Brazil is where God wants me. This is my fulfillment in life. This is not something I could have planned or wanted to. Honestly, when I first got back from my three-month stay on the Amazon, I wasn't sure if I could go back emotionally, and physically. Now, though, it is clear that I can't not go back. As I write this, my body is full of shivers. Not shallow shivers, but ones full of the realization of God's providence in ordaining all this to come to pass in my life. I posted a quote from John Piper a couple days ago. He said, "Do what is right, given what you can see to do, and let the chips fall where they will, and God will make a life for you and it will be wonderful." So, given what I see to do, this has got to be it. I don't know if I've felt this strongly about anything else before. While I was driving, God put these words into my head, "Find something worth dying for and start living for it." The truth of the Gospel is it. It is so worth dying for it, that it is what I want to live for. May God be merciful to me. May His will be done in my life. May I do His will only, not mine. Purge from me any selfish ambitions, Father!