Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Special Guest on Today's Radio Program

Brought to you by Adam Cummings

*Radio Buzzes On*

Adam: Well, today is a very special day. With me now is the Apostle Paul. Good day, Paul!

Paul: Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

A: Also with me is Mr. Gracious, emerging advocate of the Mushy Gushy Proclamation for Watered Down Doctrine movement (the MGPWDD). Mr. Gracious, good day.

Mr. Gracious: *with a thick Joel Osteen accent* Oh, thank you so much Adam. I'm so glad we can all be here as a unified body. After all this doctrinal stuff, I've been getting dizzy. I've seen so many young Bible students rebuking and correcting others with the Word of Truth, it's just been makin' me so gosh-durn sick. I wish they had all the experience that I've had, then they'd know better.

A: Paul?

P: All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work. I solemnly charge you in the presence of God and of Christ Jesus, Who is to judge the living and the dead, and by His appearing and His kingdom: preach the word, be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.

A: Wow. Ok then. Now, Mr. Gracious, what is it about doctrine that you don't like?

G: Oh, I love God's doctrine, I just can't stand the way so many young men debate it and tear down the views of those who seem to be teaching something not in the Bible. This, Adam, is not Christ's idea of unity.

A: Interesting viewpoint. Paul, you wanted to say something?

P: We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ...

A: Sorry to cut you short, but it's time for a commercial break. Stay tuned, listeners.

*Radio plays Mr. Gracious' commercial song, the well-known and classic hit I Love You, written by Barney the Dinosaur*

A: And we're back!

G: *sigh* That song brings tears to my eyes every time I think about the way the body of Christ is today.

A: Hmmm, moving right along... Now Mr. Gracious, you are a Calvinist, correct?

G: That is incorrect, kind sir. I prefer--with aldo respect--to be called a Bible believer. Thanks.

A: My apologies. You do, then, believe that preachers should teach that sovereign act of God, whereby He elects a certain race to salvation in His Son and passes over the rest, leaving them in their sin.

G: Now Adam, let's be careful. *sweet grin and soft voice* We should tell people this with grace. Many Christians might not have the understanding that we have, and voicing your opinions too much might cause division. It really is sad how so many just want to push their stance on election, rather than gently presenting it to other Christians.

A: Paul, how would you go about teaching election to someone who says that sovereign election makes God the author of sin or that God is unjust in hardening anyone's heart by leaving them in their own sin? What would you say to that person?

P: On the contrary, who are you, O man, who answers back to God? The thing molded will not say to the molder, "Why did you make me like this," will it?

G: WELL! Of all the...

A: Hold on, Mr. Gracious, we need to keep going. Now Paul, as Christians, don't you think we could be a little less bold about what we say? Besides, young students learning from their undergraduate Bible class professors really have a knack for this. Should they be so bold?

P: Therefore having such a hope, we use great boldness in our speech, and are not like Moses, who used to put a veil over his face so that the sons of Israel would not look intently at the end of what was fading.

A: Very interesting. Of course, in one of your books--Philippians I believe--you did speak of being like Christ with a humble spirit. Where do we draw the line? Was Jesus more tolerant of bad doctrine than many young Bible students are today? What should we do? On a more personal level, Paul, how should I respond to those older and more experienced than myself when they attack me because of my boldness in speech and label me as arrogant? Ha, after all, I guess that comes with the radio business.

P: Let no one look down on your youthfulness, but rather in speech, conduct, love, faith and purity, show yourself an example of those who believe. . . . Pay close attention to yourself and to your teaching; persevere in these things, for as you do this you will ensure salvation both for yourself and for those who hear you.

A: I appreciate the advice. Sorry, Mr. Gracious, let's turn it back to you.

G: Well, I must confess that I think Paul's attitude is harming the body of Christ and doing no good at all. We must realize that we are who we are because of Christ, and I declare that it is by grace we are saved through faith, and that not of ourselves, it is...

A: With aldo respect, Mr. Gracious, you're quoting Paul's book.

G: Well, I seem to exhibit what he writes better than he does; I just can't believe his tone about all this. That kind of attitude is really contra-Christ.

A: WELL, thanks folks for stopping by for this quick interview, and I trust it's been an encouragement to your hearts. Since you are our special guest, any closing words for us, Paul? You don't have to tell us whether or not you wrote the book of Hebrews, but wasn't there something in there that you wanted to respond to Mr. Gracious with? Thanks again for listening everyone; go ahead, Paul.

P: For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern good and evil.

G: [Unintelligible]

*Show Ends*


Anonymous said...


Thanks for posting this on your blog. Your blog is an amazing encouragment to me... keep up the awesome work! It's nice to see that there are some others around who don't mind telling the truth! : D

Thomas Winborn said...

Great blog yourself! I am looking forward to reading more. How did you come across my blogsite by the way?

Julianne said...

Hi Thomas. Thanks for visiting. I found your blog through Maurice's (the great adventure). Make yourself at home here. God bless!

Micah said...

If only we could get Dave Hunt on this radio show to debate Paul on Calvinism.

Anonymous said...

I could see it now: "Well, I don't feel it would be necessary to debate Paul. Debate is obviously not necessary, since I write plenty concerning my views. Besides, Paul says he'll only discuss election if we also debate the Atonement and Perseverance of the Saints... he won't discuss one thing, so I refuse to debate him. Besides that, Paul was very unclear and ambiguous concerning his views on election. I wish he'd stop taking my remarks out of context in Romans 9, since that's obviously what they are: out of context. In any case, I refuse to debate him."

Ok, I'm done. I just get more and more frustrated when I think of Hunt. I'll have a post on him later, because he has been pulling even more stunts... and he deserves to be publicly exposed. That man... : )